This post is a little overdue, but I thought it’d be appropriate for Valentines Day.
Last year I decided to take a year and not date, with the intention of focusing my love toward my relationship with God. Now from the outside it doesn’t seem like a big deal. It’s just 1 year.
But a lot can happen in just 1 second. Your world could change forever. So the past year has been a real changing process for me.
I wish I could tell you that I made it through the whole year and didn’t like anyone and that I was on a super spiritual high, but truth is, I did like a few people last year. And not every day (in some cases week) was a spiritual day. I wanted to write this post to share a few things that I learned over the past year.
A Relationship from a God Perspective:
- Take Your Time – In most cases it’s not a life or death situation if you get married right away. Therefore, take your time. Get to know the other person. Because I had made the commitment to not date, I couldn’t really express my feelings towards the girls I was interested in. Therefore I was forced to sit on the sideline and just observe. Be a friend and get to know them. After being friends for a few weeks I eventually realized that she wasn’t what I was looking for. I didn’t have to date to figure out it wouldn’t work, I just gave it some time. Just be patient.
- Keep God First – At the risk of saying a cheesy Christian cliché, keep God before the guy/girl. For me, this was just having a relationship with Him. I talked to Him everyday, I read His word and I filled my heart with worship music (a love song to God). The Benefit? God will bring people into your life that wont necessarily be your future spouse, BUT He will bring people into your life that encourage you and help fulfill some of the emotional needs you have.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Tell the Truth – When I found myself getting a little too emotionally attached to the girls that I liked, I told them. I know…why would I do that if I couldn’t date them? It was honestly more for my emotions than it was for our relationship. The more I dwelled on how much I liked the girl the more it became a distraction. If there is a person that you can’t get off your mind and it’s becoming a distraction to you, it might be a good idea to just have a DTR (Define The Relationship) talk with them. State your feelings but then…
- Set Boundaries – Before you get to deep in a relationship, know what is going to be invested. Emotions aren’t a joke. For some people words can make them become emotionally attached. For others it may be physical touch. Regardless, you should figure out what emotionally attaches you and set boundaries so that you don’t invest too much of your heart.
- Be Realistic – Finally, be real with yourself. There is the possibility that things won’t work out. Knowing that, don’t give your heart away. Your heart belongs to your spouse, not your boyfriend/girlfriend. But one day you’ll meet that boyfriend/girlfriend that is spouse material. Once you know that they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, and that nothing will ever be able to separate your love…give them your heart.
Now the above is simply things that I observed over the course of my past year. I know they have helped me so my hope is that they could help you too.